


Hard decision

by Galfort



Category: Pentatonix
Genre: Family, Fluff, Friendship, Leaving, Sadness, hard decisions, night talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galfort/pseuds/Galfort
Summary: They could tell something was off with him but they just couldn’t tell what.Scott had watched Avi pacing the floor for the last half an hour without saying a word.Actually, he hadn’t talk much to none of the group in a couple of days and that was super weird, since Avi had always had something to say.





	Hard decision

**Author's Note:**

> Hearing about Avi leaving the group truly broke my heart so I wrote this to make myself feel a litlle better.  
> I don't really know how things went, this is just my personal interpretation.

They could tell something was off with him but they just couldn’t tell what.  
Scott had watched Avi pacing the floor for the last half an hour without saying a word.  
Actually, he hadn’t talk much to none of the group in a couple of days and that was super weird, since Avi had always had something to say.  
His long silence, this sudden closure towards all of them was making all uncomfortable, even the newest crew member that couldn’t even get how weird the entire situation was.  
Only Esther seems to be able to get few words out of her brothers mouth and for few nights in a row they have seen her climb into Avi’s bed and talked to him all night.  
Too bad they never understood what they were talking about but they could guess that it was something serious.  
They didn’t even know how this whole situation started.  
They remembered Avi getting a phone call and suddenly go quiet.  
Esther told them that something bad happened back at home but she couldn’t say what.  
-It’s not for me to tell you-she had whisper -But you’re his family almost as much as me so he would tell you, I promise. I just don’t know when-  
She was trying not to show her worry, but they have been living elbow to elbow for a couple of years and have known her for even more, so they could all tell that something was off.  
And then Avi stopped talking and started pacing the floor. He took even longer walks than the ones he usually took and a couple of times Kevin and Mitch and to go to look for him around the city.  
-Avi can you please tell us what’s going on?-  
Kirstie voice break the bass’ silence bubble and he looked at her like he didn’t even know she was there.  
-I’m sorry, it’s……-he was about to say something but then changed his mind.  
-Nothing. Everything is fine guys, I swear-  
-Brother I’m kinda offended that you thing we would buy this lie. We have lived together for more than 5 years, I know when something is bothering you and so do the others-Kevin said, pointing to all the rest of Pentatonix.  
-Just tell us what is bothering you. We can help you-  
-No, you can’t! That’s the whole point, you can’t help me! No one can!-Avi shouted and everyone went quiet.  
They’ve never seen him react like this, not even when his long time girlfriend had left him because she said they didn’t see each other often enough to keep a relationship going, and Avi had been cantankerous for weeks after that. They only later had discovered that he was planning to ask for the girl’s hand next time they met.  
Even Esther was taken aback from the reaction.  
-Avi……-she tried to say, walking towards her brother, but he moved away, his eyes widened.  
-I’m sorry guys. I didn’t mean to yell at you. You don’t deserve that-  
-It’s ok daddy, We just wanted to know what’s going on. You’re making us worry-explained Mitch smiling, but, instead of reassuring him, that smile seemed to scare Avi even more.  
-I didn’t mean to…… You don’t deserve that-the bass repeat, walking away from them.  
Scott was about to follow him when Esther stopped him.  
-Let me go. He need us-every Pentatonix member seemed to agree on Scott’s words and they could see a lightning of pain cross the woman face.  
-You may be right Scotty, but, trust me, seeing you guys…….It would only hurt him more-  
-So you know what is bothering him!-  
Mitch’s voice was the closest to anger that she had ever heard it.  
Esther sighed.  
-Of course I know. You may have lived with him for what, 6 years? But he is my little brother. He can’t avoid telling me all the wrong things in his life. That’s why I’m telling you that seeing you will hurt him like hell, and he already had enough for the moment. Just let him be by himself for a while. He will tell you everything soon, I promise-  
They didn’t seem quite satisfied by the explanation, but truth was that none of them would want to see Avi snap again like that, and neither they wanted to hurt him.  
-Guys, I don’t know what’s going on here, but we have to rehearse so will you please come to the stage in, like 10 minutes?- said the voice of one of the crew member from one of the window of the tour bus.  
Scott tried to move, but Esther, her hand still on the young man arm, stopped him again.  
-I’ll go and get my brother. You all go, like right now-  
None of them replied, but they all looked at each other with a bit of sadness in their eyes and started to walk toward the arena where they were suppose to perform that night.  
Something bad was coming and they could all sensed it.  
When the Kaplan’s siblings finally come, they could easily understand they were arguing about something.  
Esther was scolding his brother for something, but it was obvious that she wasn’t mad, just sad and worried, and he look even sadder than her.  
Mitch walked towards them, just in time to hear the last exchange between the two.  
-You have to tell them, like now. If you’re sure about this you have to tell them right away-she was saying.  
-They will hate me and I can’t stand it. You know how much I care about them , what they mean to me. They’re like my other family-  
-Then why……-  
-You know why. I just can’t stand it anymore. I’ve tried my best for so long, I’ve tried not to be…….affected by…….And I did just because they are my other family and I love them with all my heart and I couldn’t stand it if they will hate me.-  
-They won’t trust me. But you they have the right to know……-  
-To know what?-  
None of the siblings have realized that the thin boy was right beside them.  
Esther looked at his brother and he sighed.  
-Mitchie, can you call the others? I’ve got something to say and if I don’t say it now I don’t’ think I will ever have the strength to do it-  
Avi raise his eyes to meet his sister’s ones and he saw that she was smiling, not an happy smile, but better than anything.

In few minutes Scott, Kirstie and Kevin had joined Mitch and were quiet around him.  
-This is not easy, so I would be grateful if you wouldn’t interrupts for any reason at all-they all nodded and Avi took a deep breath.  
-Look, first thing I have to say that I’ve thought about it a lot-  
-We’ve seen it…..-Scott started to say, just to receive a punch from Mitch.  
-Sorry, you’re right. No interrupting-  
Avi smiled.  
-It’ s not just the last few days. It’s actually something that goes a bit further in the past. I think I’ve been thinking about it at least since we’ve released the documentary-  
-But this was……-exclaimed Mitch.  
-No interrupting-said Scott punching him.  
The rest started to laugh softly.  
-God, I’m going to miss this-whispered Avi.  
They all freezed.  
-What do you mean by this?-asked quickly Kirstie, fixing her gaze into his eyes.  
-I didn’t plan to say it like this but I think there’s no good way to say it.  
I’m gonna leave the Pentatonix-  
Suddenly the silence filled the room  
Avi couldn’t stand to watch his friends looking at him like he had just killed their beloved puppy.  
-What…..What……What do you mean?-Scott was having trouble even to saying the simplest sentences.  
That was a very low blow, this band was his baby and Avi knew that.  
-I’m sorry guys, I’ve just……-  
-It’s because of something happened at home? Because we could stop the tour, delete it or whatever, there is no need for you to leave-Kevin looked super worried and this made Avi feel even worse.  
-No, it’s not about something that had happened, or better, not just because of this.  
You all know how hard is always been for me to be always away from the people I love and I always thought it was because I wasn’t used to it, that I will make peace with that, but I still haven’t and it’s been 6 years now. It’s not going to get better.-  
-What if we take a break then? We finish this tour and then we go on a break. You go home, as long as you need it and then we get back together and be as Pentatonix as ever-Mitch’s sad voice breaks Avi’s heart and he start to feel tears coming into his eyes.  
-And what if this is forever? No, Mitchie, this won’t work and even if it could I can’t ask that to you-  
-You’re not asking we are offering-  
-Look, the reason why I could go on all this time is that I believe in what we do and we have been able to do what we did because we never stopped.   
Pentatonix must not stop just because I’m a stupid softie.  
I still believe in what you guys will do without me. You don’t need me to be great-  
-Of course we need you brother! And you are not a stupid softie. But I’ve spent so much time with you and I know how much this all situation had always caused you pain.  
If this is really what you want, I won’t stop you, we won’t stop you-  
Avi’s heart tightening hearing Kevin’s words and when he saw that the rest of the band was nodding he felt a first tear rolling down his cheek.  
-So, you don’t……I mean, you don’t hate me?-he had to ask.  
-Do you really think that we would have hated you for that?-Scott asked getting closer to him.  
The bass didn’t answer, but everybody could guess what he was thinking.  
-If you’ve ever really thought that we would have hated you just because of this you are a perfect idiot and these last few years had been a complete waste of time.   
Do you really think we are such awful people?-  
Mitch seemed really angry now and Avi couldn’t blame him.  
-We love you Daddy. You are part of the family and the fact that you’re taking a decision that we wouldn’t make doesn’t mean we hate you ok?-  
Now the smaller boy was hugging him and more silent tears followed the first one.  
-If you will ever change your mind and want to come back we would always have a place for you. You will always be part of the band, no matter what-Scott said, joining the hug, followed by Kevin and Kirstie.  
-Ehi, I’m too small! I can’t even reach you!-exclaimed the girl, making everyone laugh, so Avi broke the group hug and take Kirstie’s hand, just to pull her closer to him.  
-Guys, I’m gonna miss you like hell-  
-And we are gonna miss you too. With whom will I comment “Games of thrones” now?-she replied.  
-Ehi! We all watch the show!- protested Mitch.  
-Yah, we all watch it, but nobody get excited about it like these two-answered Kevin  
-Avi like it just because it’s all about dragons!-  
-It’s not all about dragons. You are just proving that you don’t pay attention. And by the way, what’s wrong with dragons? They are the most awesome creatures in the entire universe!-  
-They don’t exist Avi!-  
-Does it really matter if they had really walked this earth or not?-  
-Of course it does. It makes all the difference in the world!-  
-Guys, are you really going to ruin the moment talking about this? You have already had this discussion-  
Kevin was always the one trying to bring peace in the group, and even if Mitch and Avi weren’t really fighting, he had to try to stop a conversation that all of them have heard a thousand of times.  
-It’s Avi that keep behaving like a small boy when it comes to dragons!-  
-I don’t behave like……-  
-Guys, do you have any intention to rehearse for tonight?-the words of Esther interrupt the silly discussion, making them realize that they still have a show to worry about and their break was lasting a bit too much for the crew tastes.  
-Yeah, sure. Let’s get to work!-  
Everything seemed as usual and Avi couldn’t believe that they were actually accepting his decision without hard feelings.  
The band was everyone’s baby and he was giving it a very hard blow, but they weren’t mad at him.  
Or maybe they just weren’t showing how mad they were.  
-Seems it all turns out fine little brother-Esther said when they were left alone.  
-Seems so, but I’m not sure. Maybe they’re just pretending they are fine with that-  
-Or maybe they’re really more concerned about your well being than with the one of the band.  
That’s what true friends would do, you know-  
-I hope you’re right sis. I couldn’t stand to lose them-  
-How could you lose your family?-she candidly asked and Avi felt just about to cry again.

The show went great,as usual, but at the end of it they were all so tired that the only thing they wanted to do was to jump on the tour bus and finally get some sleep.  
They were supposed to travel all night and if there was something Avi had always loved was night travelling.  
Seeing the lights of the cities passing next to him always made him feel like he was handing in the right direction, and the constant movement lull him ,so it never took him more than 5 minutes to fall asleep, but not that night.  
He had starred at the ceiling of the bunk bed for more than half an hour already and he was still wide awake.  
He could hear Kevin snores and Mitch saying something in his sleep, getting a reply from a very asleep Scott and he couldn’t avoid to smile.   
It was incredible how they seemed to be connected even when they were sleeping.  
He hadn’t felt like this about someone in a very long time, maybe never.  
He sighed.  
There was no way he was going to rest his mind from sad thoughts that day.  
-Ehi, are you still awake?-  
A fall of blond hairs appeared from the bunk right above his bed, followed by a wide awake Kristin.  
-I didn’t answer you. What If I was sleeping?-he asked her, trying to sit, forgetting how little space they have.  
When he banged his head on the top of the bed his friend start to laugh.  
-I can’t believe, literally 6 years of tour and you still try to sit in the bunk bed of the tour bus!-  
-Just don’t laugh so loud. You are going to wake everyone!-  
-All right, all right. Just make some room for me then-  
-Can’t you climb back in your bunk?-  
-Not really-  
-Why not?-  
-Because, doesn’t matter what you are going to say, I know you’re not fine and you need someone to talk to-  
-Kirstin, I’m…….-he started to say, but she put an hand of his mouth.  
-I swear, if you say that you are all right and all that kind of bullshit I’m gonna kill you-  
-You would never-  
-Why do you think you have to lie to me? Are we not best friends?-  
-Never thought you counted me as a best friend-  
-Then you are more stupid that I thought-  
\--Nice to see how much you think of me-  
-You know what I mean-  
-Kirstie, please, go back to sleep, so I can…….-  
-Stare wide awake at the ceiling? No way! I’m gonna be right next to you until you fall asleep or tell me what’s bothering you-  
-Do I really need to?-  
-You have no choice-  
-I mean, isn’t it obvious? Do you really think I want to leave you guys?-  
-Then why did you……-  
-I don’t want to leave you but I can’t stay neither. You have seen how…….emotional I get. How much being away from my family, my friends and my forest hurts me.  
And I don’t feel all right not even when I go back home since I can see how much everyone have changed since the last time I was there and that’s…….too painful for me.  
And being with you……You, Scott and Mitch have known each other since high school, how can I truly fit in this dynamic?-  
Kirstin could feel Avi’s body starting to shake and she knew he was about to cry.  
Saying this must have been as difficult as it was for her to hear it.  
-You and Kevin fit just perfectly with the three of us, just because we have kown each other for a longer time doesn’t……-  
-Don’t lie. It means the world, at least for me.  
You all have been so nice, and I’m not saying we are not super friend or anything, but this trio of yours will always come first. C’mon, Scott and Mitch are even dreaming the same dreams!-  
-Scott and Mitch are……something completely different. I’m out of their world too and that’s…..-  
-Kinda painful, isn’t it?-  
Kirstin nodded and moved her hand towards Avi’s.  
She was starting to get what he was saying.  
-Look, Kevin fit just perfectly but me? Sometimes I just feel like an alien-  
-You are not. You are……-  
-What am I Kirstie?-  
-I don’t know, you are special though., like…….Like a dragon! That’s what you are. You are our dragon!-  
He lughed.  
He loved dragons and everyone knew that.  
-Dragons live in big forest, alone. Not in tour buses full of people. You are just confirming what I’m saying.  
I just don’t belong here-  
She sighed, holding his hand.  
She had always loved the physical contact with people, but with Avi was even more special since he was one of the few people in the world that always made her feel protected.  
She wanted him to feel the same, but it was hard and weird and she knew she was failing.  
-I’m sorry you feel that way. If there something I could do……-  
He smiled and this time he meant it, so Kirstie’s muscles relaxed a bit.  
-There’s nothing you could do. I just have to go back where I belong-  
-Then if this is so clear to you, why are you so…….-  
-I don’t want to leave you all. I love the band, I love the fans, I love the music we make, I love hanging with all of us while we are on tour, visit all these new cities with you and the thought that you will keep doing without me makes me so incredibly sad that I don’t think I can explain it to you.  
You are going to go ahead with your lives and I won’t be in them-  
She looked at him in shook.  
-The fact that you are not going to be part of the band anymore doesn’t mean you have to be out of our lives! I will personally come all the way to your place to kick your ass if you do something like that!-  
She snapped, giving him a little punch on the shoulder.  
He laughed but she was really worried about what he had just said.  
-I won’t disappear completely Kirstin, I will still be there if you call me and everything but I won’t see you as I do now and I will end up being always a little bit more like an outsider between all of you, until you will……-  
He didn’t finish the sentence but she knew what he wanted to say.  
-Look, big softie dragon of mine. None of us is going to fight you about this choice of yours, but I swear that if you don’t text me or call me at least daily, if you don’t come to all our shows when we are in the same town, if you’re not going to hang out with us every time you can I’m seriously gonna kick your ass-  
-Look at how sweet little Kirstin is becoming a very bad girl!-  
He couldn’t help but laugh every time she try to sound tough.  
-I’m not joking Mr.Kaplan! It’s already bad I’m gonna miss you so badly when you’re not going to tour with us. If you take away from me, and I’m sure the others would say the same thing, any occasion to be the old original pentatonix, at least as a normal group of friends, I’m gonna kill you-  
-I’m gonna miss you too little kid-  
He said pulling her into a tight hug.  
-You don’t get to call me kid. You are just like 3 years older than me-  
-I’s enough to call you kid, trust me-  
She didn’t protest, actually she liked when he called her kid, but he was the only one entitled to do it though without making her mad.  
Everyone thought she was just a weak little girl, just a kid, but Avi knew better, that was why he was allowed to call her like that.  
They hugged for a while, whitout saying anything, until Kirstie grumbled.  
-I just realized!-  
-What-he asked, puzzled.  
-I’m not going to have anyone to watch “Game of Thrones” with!-  
-Everyone watch the show Kirstie-  
-Well, that’s true but just because we both love it and none would ever try to get between you and a show about dragons, but if you leave….. And even if, watching without you is not the same. I’ve tried a couple of times, but it just sucks-  
He smiled, passing an hand through his hairs.  
-We can make a pact if you want. If our lives would allow it of course-  
Now it was her turn to look at him puzzled.  
-We are gonna skype-watching it together. I don’t even know if Skype-watching is actually a thing, but I think it might work for us.-  
-What about when I’m on tour?-  
-I’ll try to adjust to your time table and wait for you and if it’s impossible to watch it together, I’m gonna make sure no spoiler come to you so I’ll always be the first one with whim you will discuss any new episode. I will have the exclusive of Kirstin Maldonaldo’s very own opinion about anything regarding “Games of thrones”. What do you think?-  
-You truly would do that for me?-  
She looked at him amazed.  
-It’s not just for you, you know. It’s for me too, and yes, I would do it. You know I don’t say anything that I don’t truly think.-  
-Than it’s a deal dragon-  
-Wait. If I’m a dragon, what character are you then?-  
-I don’t know, maybe I’m just gonna be…..I don’t know, a Stark maybe?-  
-You don’t wanna be a Stark. Things are never good for them-  
-But they got the better storylines though-  
-Danaereys got a nice one as well. You could be her, I think she suits you-  
-And you will let me be your mother?-she laughed and he followed.  
-You know what? This character thing was a terrible idea. Just forget it-  
-I’m still gonna call you dragon though-  
He smiled , then looked at her, suddenly, with a very serious look in his eyes.  
-So…..Are you fine with my decision? About leaving the group?-  
-I’m not gonna lie. If for fine you mean, happy or anything like that, I’m never gonna to be fine, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t understand it. I whish you would have told about this sooner, but it’s ok.  
There is a reason, you are the one that we all had chosen for the “Standing by” solo.  
It’s never been just about your voice. We chose you because of the way you interpret it, the way you sing it with your eyes shut because you are singing it for your loved ones and not for the audience and the pain and the love in your voice is so obvious that……..  
You make all of us feel what your feeling. Sometimes, when you sing it I get your own melancholy and it truly hurts, so I can’t imagine how it must be for you-  
He stroke her hairs, his eyes still entangled into hers.  
-I didn’t know I have this effect on you-  
-You don’t know many things about the effect that you have on me-  
-Just wait for Jeremy to hear this……-  
-You know I didn’t mean it that way!-she protested, breaking the hug to punch him again.  
-I know, I was just teasing you a little, all right?-  
She didn’t answer and silence fell again between them.  
-Now we just have to tell the fans-  
Avi sighed.  
This was going to be even harder than telling the band.  
Scott, Mitch, Kevin, Kirstin and all the crew were his friends and didn’t want anything but his well being and they all have seen him struggling in the previous 6 years, but their fans……  
They were the sweetest guys in the universe, but were very protective and loyal toward the band. He doubted they could truly understand.  
-We are gonna tell them together. We are gonna be there for you dragon-she said  
The bass looked at the girl with wide opened eyes.  
-You really would do this? You’re really gonna help me?-  
-Well, you’re still the one who has to do the talking, but we will be right there with you. We have already talked about it-  
-You talked about…..-  
-We just thought that this would probably difficult for you, so we all agreed that, if you would have asked, we would have been right with you the all time. There wasn’t actually a decision to make: we all thought the same think at the same time.  
We are always gonna be there for you when you need us-  
She could see his eyes filling with tears in the dark.  
-I’m so lucky to have you guys-  
He said hugging her tightly, silent tears rolling down his face.  
-And we are lucky to have you dragon-  
-You love this nickname, don’t you-he laughed, his voice still a bit shaky.  
-You love it too, so shut up-  
-True-  
Kirstie know she should have climbed back in her bunk but she didn’t really want to so she just stayed into Avi’s arms until they both fell asleep.  
After all it was their last tour together and she was going to take all the best from it.

**Author's Note:**

> As you had probably noticed, english is not my first language, so I apologize if there are any mistakes.  
> I have never written anything about PTX neither and this is actually a real experiment, so if you have any suggestion about ho wto improve this story I will be glad to hear it


End file.
